Down Cemetery Road: Comparable and Incomparable

I binged Down Cemetery Road -- all eight episodes -- on Apple TV last night.  It's being billed (on Screen Rant) as "the perfect replacement" for Slow Horses, in between its fifth and six seasons, also on Apple TV.  Both are adaptations of Mike Herron's novels, and both sport a spiffy amalgam of snappy dialogue and spy-on-spy lethal mischief.   But Down Cemetery Road doesn't have a theme-song co-written and performed by Mick Jagger (the best theme for a spy series since "Secret Agent Man"), a lead character who flaunts his flatulence in every episode, and quite the speed of narrative of Slow Horses.

Here's what Down Cemetery Road does have:

• Two brilliant and famous lead stars (Ruth Wilson and Emma Thompson) in contrast to one (Gary Oldman).  And I thought Wilson's Sarah Trafford was really exceptional.
• A really world-class villain, Amos Crane (played by Fehinti Balogun), who could have worked in any Bond movie.
• Speaking of Bond, Down Cemetery Road has a train scene nearly as edge of your seat as the scene in From Russia with Love.
• Down Cemetery Road has, I don't know, call it more of a soul, than most spy stories, including Slow Horses.  I don't recall many tears in my eyes watching Slow Horses, unless they came from laughter, which of course is fine in its own right. 
•  Down Cemetery Road may have slightly hipper dialogue, with a pretty funny extended disquisition over the term "mansplaining".

But the truth is, there's no need to compare Down Cemetery Road to Slow Horses.  Cemetery is a unique TV series, with a deft blend of humor and life-and-death excitement.   By all means see it.

What I Liked about the Slow Horses Season 5 Finale

Just a brief note about what I loved in the Season 5 finale of Slow Horses, up on Apple TV+ this past Wednesday.

The answer is well, everything.  But here are some specifics (with slight spoilers):

• River's grandfather comes through!  His rambling about bees in episode 5.5 was an alert to how the terrorists besetting London had a final, potentially deadly sting in the tail-end of their attack, and Slough House and MI5 had to be careful not to overlook that.
• It was also really good to see River end up truly to form.  His grandfather's counsel gets River to be able to save MI5 Director Whelan at the last minute.  River wants out of Slough House and back with "the big boys again" (quote from Mick Jagger).  And you know what?  River's right.  He's 100% correct that he's every bit as good as, in fact better than, the other agents in "The Park" (quote not from Jagger).  But of course what he misses -- as does everyone else in Slough House, other than Lamb, who's well aware of this -- is that all the Slough House agents are better than the "big boys". (And that includes Rodney Ho.)
• And so it comes to pass -- as it does in every season-- that nothing ever really changes at Slough House.  Even when its agents are killed (which happened in Seasons 2 and 4) This lends credence to the interpretation that Slough House is really a purgatory.  Which maybe it is.

And I'll see you back here as soon as Season Six is up.

See also Slow Horses 5.1-5.5: Blasting on All Cylinders

And see also Slow Horses 4.1: River

And see also Slow Horses 3.1-3.2: Beatles Level ... 3.3: The Meaningful Difference Between "The" and "A" in the UK ... 3.4: "Clear the Board" ... 3.5: Winners and Losers, Part 1 ... 3.6: Winners and Losers, Part 2

And see also Slow Horses 2.1-2.2: Do Horses Eat Ramen? ... 2.3: Faster Than You Think ... 2.4-2.5: Lamb Firing On All Cylinders ... Slow Horses 2.6: Heralds of Humiliation

And see also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling ... Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger ... Slow Horses 1.5: Did You Hear the One About the ... Slow Horses 1.6: The Scorecard

 

Slow Horses 5.1-5.5: Blasting On All Cylinders

Based on the first five of six episodes of the fifth season of Slow Horses, I think it's in the running for being the best season so far.   In fact, I was going to wait until the upcoming finale this coming Wednesday on Apple TV+ to review the whole fifth season, but this fifth episode was so good (even though I guessed the major twist) that I decided to review the first five.  I'll come back with a review of the season finale this coming week.

Here are some highlights of the first five episodes of the fifth season (with very slight spoilers):

• James Callis as MI5 Director Whelan has had his best season yet.  Actually, this is only his second season -- Whelan was introduced in Season 4 -- but Whelan was like fingernails on a blackboard being just the right mix of irritating and infuriating in these five episodes.  James Callus, memorable from his role in the rebooted Battlestar Galactica, will be memorable in his role in Slow Horses.
• Lamb delivers at least one great scene of flatulence in every season of Slow Horses.  The silent but deadly one in Season 5 was his most pungent, with someone commenting that they could get lung cancer from breathing it in. 
• River's grandfather David has a great scene in which he tries to explain that the team and MI5 are missing what the bad guys are planning to do in their "blind your enemy" attack.  He tries to explain it to River but can't because of David's diminished mental capacities.  Very touching.
• Coe, also introduced in Season 4, is an excellent addition to the team.  Tom Brooke puts in a fine chillingly spooky performance, especially suitable for this time of year, i.e., Halloween.
• Taking someone out with a can of paint via a complex Rube Goldberg chain of events is cool.  (I'll say no more about that because I said the spoilers would be slight).
• Mick Jagger's "Strange Game" as the Slow Horses theme song remains outstanding!
• Gary Oldman as Lamb is perfect in every scene -- they all are.

See you here next week with my review of the season 5 finale.

See also Slow Horses 4.1: River

And see also Slow Horses 3.1-3.2: Beatles Level ... 3.3: The Meaningful Difference Between "The" and "A" in the UK ... 3.4: "Clear the Board" ... 3.5: Winners and Losers, Part 1 ... 3.6: Winners and Losers, Part 2

And see also Slow Horses 2.1-2.2: Do Horses Eat Ramen? ... 2.3: Faster Than You Think ... 2.4-2.5: Lamb Firing On All Cylinders ... Slow Horses 2.6: Heralds of Humiliation

And see also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling ... Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger ... Slow Horses 1.5: Did You Hear the One About the ... Slow Horses 1.6: The Scorecard

 

Slow Horses 4.1: River

Well, Slow Horses is back on Apple TV+ with the debut episode of its 4th season, and

[Spoilers ahead ... ]

In the riveting opening and subsequent scenes it sure looks like River was shot to death by his (probably) somewhat deranged grandfather, but I didn't really believe that, because it's too crazy a way to die, even for Slow Horses, and in the end we learn Lamb didn't buy it either, and in fact River's in France, on some mission likely connected to the terrorists Taverner and the MI5 crew are dealing with (ineptly, because this is after all just the beginning of a new season).

But there were clues before the big French reveal, most notably that the body said to be River's had its face shot off, which made it difficult to identify as River's, on the basis of just eyesight.  This probably tipped off Lamb from the beginning.  He's in good form, by the way, not only farting, but scratching his ass (not at the same time).  At least it was outside this time, not in a car with the doors closed.

The team, other than Ho, are more or less devastated, especially Louisa, who in one unfortunate scene not only rebuffed River's possible advance, but suggested he visit grandpa.  Standish is not devastated at all, because, as we learn near the end, she knows River has not been shot, and Grandpa David is taking a nap in her bed.   Have we ever actually seen her and Lamb in bed together and awake?  I can't recall, but I think not, and I hope that will happen sooner or later in some future episode or season.

Kudos again, by the way, for Mick Jagger's excellent theme song at the beginning, but I didn't hear it again at the end, as we have in prior seasons, and that's s shame, because I'm always eager to hear that song, even in the middle of an episode.

But off to great start, and I'll be back with weekly reviews.

See also Slow Horses 3.1-3.2: Beatles Level ... 3.3: The Meaningful Difference Between "The" and "A" in the UK ... 3.4: "Clear the Board" ... 3.5: Winners and Losers, Part 1 ... 3.6: Winners and Losers, Part 2

And see also Slow Horses 2.1-2.2: Do Horses Eat Ramen? ... 2.3: Faster Than You Think ... 2.4-2.5: Lamb Firing On All Cylinders ... Slow Horses 2.6: Heralds of Humiliation

And see also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling ... Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger ... Slow Horses 1.5: Did You Hear the One About the ... Slow Horses 1.6: The Scorecard

  

Slow Horses 3.6: Winners and Losers, Part 2

Well, I was right in my prediction last week about who else on our Slow Horses team would bite the dust in the season 3 finale on Apple TV+ tonight.

[Spoilers ahead ... ]

And, indeed, no one on our team was killed.  But I also predicted that Donovan would live, because the blood lust in current TV series logic that not everyone of the good guys can live had been satisfied with Ben Dunn's demise in last week's episode, and, alas, I was wrong about that.  And Donovan would have been a good addition to our heroic anti-heroic team.

But on the bright side, that bald guy was killed in the failed attack on Standish, and so was the leader of the MI-5 team which under Tearney's orders were trying to kill the Slow Horses.  And the women on our team had an especially good night, playing a decisive role in the victory back at the Park.

I would rate this season as the best so far, with three back-to-back episodes of nearly nonstop action rounding out the short season of six.  Even Ho tried to get into the action, with his vehicle.  It wasn't needed, and gave Lamb yet another chance to bad-mouth anyone on his team, but it did show that Ho's heart was in the right place, using whatever weapon was at hand to try to save the day.  And it wasn't his fault that smashing into the house to shake up the bad guys inside was no longer needed.

What's needed now are more episodes of this most excellent series, and they can't come along fast enough for me.  I'll see you back here next year as soon as they're back on the screen.

See also Slow Horses 3.1-3.2: Beatles Level ... 3.3: The Meaningful Difference Between "The" and "A" in the UK ... 3.4: "Clear the Board" ... 3.5: Winners and Losers, Part 1

And see also Slow Horses 2.1-2.2: Do Horses Eat Ramen? ... 2.3: Faster Than You Think ... 2.4-2.5: Lamb Firing On All Cylinders ... Slow Horses 2.6: Heralds of Humiliation

And see also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling ... Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger ... Slow Horses 1.5: Did You Hear the One About the ... Slow Horses 1.6: The Scorecard

  

Slow Horses 3.5: Winners and Losers, Part 1

[Spoilers ahead ....]

Well, I was right that if any one of the four inside the Park would be killed in the savage attack launched by Tearney, it would be Ben Dunn.  And indeed he was, at the very end of the great, action-packed (as they say) episode 3.5 of Slow Horses on Apple TV+.  He was the brother of the woman killed in the first episode of this season, so his death completes the elimination of the Dunns.  I'm tempted to say the Dunns are done, and apparently I just did.

This episode ends on a cliffhanger, with the question of who among our heros or anti-heroes will be gunned down or otherwise killed next week.   Before I offer my opinions, I'm happy to say that I think the chances of the three survivors surviving are a lot better than they were at the end of last week's episode.

First and foremost, the bloodlust of narrative-dictates in television drama has been satisfied with the death of Dunn.  Had every one of the four survived, that would have strained the credibility of the story on our screen.

Second, and less important, there are reinforcements either already in play or moving into play.  Marcus and Shirley are in the inside, and neither one is a slouch.  Lamb and Catherine are on their way, and certainly neither of them are slouches, either.  Even Ho is on his way, and well ... he's better than nothing.  Maybe a lot better.  I'm not sure how he is with guns, but he's smart, for sure.

So who will be alive at the of the season four final next week?  I'm thinking everyone of our team, inside and out.   And Donovan, too.   And if someone winds up dead?   I'm thinking that will most likely be Duffy, and an outside chance Tearney (by Taverner).  It's a fate that both of them eminently deserve.

See also Slow Horses 3.1-3.2: Beatles Level ... 3.3: The Meaningful Difference Between "The" and "A" in the UK ... 3.4: "Clear the Board"

And see also Slow Horses 2.1-2.2: Do Horses Eat Ramen? ... 2.3: Faster Than You Think ... 2.4-2.5: Lamb Firing On All Cylinders ... Slow Horses 2.6: Heralds of Humiliation

And see also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling ... Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger ... Slow Horses 1.5: Did You Hear the One About the ... Slow Horses 1.6: The Scorecard

  

Slow Horses 3.4: "Clear the Board"

Well, Slow Horses 3.4 gets the prize for the best ending with the best phrase: "Clear the Board".

That order is given by Tearney, to the assembled force outside the Park.  The command, just in case you didn't know, has nothing to do with chess or checkers.  It means kill all the human players.  In this case, that's River, who has once again gotten into the Park -- MI5 headquarters -- along this time with  Louisa (they make a comfortable team) in pursuit of Donovan (that's his last name) and Dunn.   Except they're now all together, and the intended objects of Tearney's lethal order.

And that's where the episode ends.

We'll find out next week who survives the ensuing hail of bullets.  Now, ordinarily I'd say probably everybody, but after seeing Spider punched out in the worst possible sense of the phrase last week -- he dies as a result of Donovan's punch -- I'll say all bets are off as to who will survive Tearney's directive.  (Note that I didn't give you a spoiler warning about Spider, because he was killed in episode 3.3, and what are you doing reading a review of episode 3.4 if you haven't seen the previous episode?)

So who will be killed next week?  The most likely is Dunn, because he's easily the least important character of the foursome in this predicament.  Less likely is Donovan -- he's a central character this season.  And even less likely is Louisa, followed by the least likely River.  But even that logic may not apply to this wonderful iconoclastic series, which began killing seemingly central and crucial characters in the first season, or languishing in a hospital, out of commission and out of the series.

So if I had to bet on this, I'd put my money on Dunn, but I'd rather not bet at all.  And, come to think of it, every one of the quartet may survive, and not get shot at all, leaving the board totally uncleared.  That result would also be totally consistent with the winningly unpredictable narrative of Slow Horses. 

We'll know more, for sure, next week.

See also Slow Horses 3.1-3.2: Beatles Level ... 3.3: The Meaningful Difference Between "The" and "A" in the UK

And see also Slow Horses 2.1-2.2: Do Horses Eat Ramen? ... 2.3: Faster Than You Think ... 2.4-2.5: Lamb Firing On All Cylinders ... Slow Horses 2.6: Heralds of Humiliation

And see also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling ... Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger ... Slow Horses 1.5: Did You Hear the One About the ... Slow Horses 1.6: The Scorecard

  

Slow Horses 3.3: The Meaningful Difference Between "The" and "A" in the UK

As anyone who watches TV in English that comes for the other side of the Atlanticwell knows, the folks there have a great expression, "take the piss," which means mock or make a fool or fun of.  That's in contrast to the use of "take a piss," which on this side of the Atlantic means what my wife always tells me women prefer describing as peeing.  So what does this little idiom lesson have to do with the third episode of the third season of Slow Horses, up on Apple TV+ yesterday?

Well, in one of many telling scenes in this episode, Shirley tells Marcus that she's taking a piss.   Which struck me as culturally significant because I don't recall the word "piss" ever used on U.K. or Irish television that way, and what my wife, as I said, tells me about women.  Further, Shirley shortly after talks about "pee".  So in addition to all its many other merits, Slow Horses provides some kind of lesson in charming vulgarity on both sides of the Atlantic.

Speaking of which, Lamb, as can always be relied upon, stinks up a car when he lets one go (is that an acceptable euphemism?) in a car with the windows closed.  That's marginally better than doing the same in an elevator, because there are no windows to open when an elevator is moving.  On the other hand, when Lamb is the perpetrator, the place is bad wherever it happens.  Lamb himself is quick to leave the car after he does the deed, leaving the other passenger not only grimacing but gasping.

[Hey, three paragraphs, and no warning about spoilers, but now there's one coming up ... ]

I was glad to see Spider go, for good.  At least I hope so because, as you devoted readers will know, I have a fundamental principle in reviewing television shows that if you don't see a character blasted in the head or decapitated, he or she may not be dead.  But this episode if anything heightened his obnoxiousness, which give us even more of a reason to want him gone, so I'm hoping my principle of decapitation or its equivalent doesn't apply here.

Next on my list of people I'd like to see gone is the bald guy who came in at the end of River's beating and added some damage of his own.   We'll see how he's dealt with in the episodes ahead...

See also Slow Horses 3.1-3.2: Beatles Level

And see also Slow Horses 2.1-2.2: Do Horses Eat Ramen? ... 2.3: Faster Than You Think ... 2.4-2.5: Lamb Firing On All Cylinders ... Slow Horses 2.6: Heralds of Humiliation

And see also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling ... Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger ... Slow Horses 1.5: Did You Hear the One About the ... Slow Horses 1.6: The Scorecard

  

Slow Horses 3.1-3.2: Beatles Level

Whew!  The first two episodes of the third season of Slow Horses begin (after a prelude) with a shot at Ringo, of all people, with River telling Catherine he doesn't want to waste time on a file because it's "Ringo-level".  I wasn't completely sure this was about the Ringo -- Ringo Starr -- but who else could it be, I mean, it surely wasn't about Johnny Ringo, the out-West outlaw.  But I didn't know for sure until a bit later in the first episode, when there's talk about "George-level" as below "John-level" and "Paul-level," so whew, yeah,  the new season is off with a bang,

Though, one more thing about "Ringo-level," I've always thought even Ringo was so essential a drummer for the greatest group that ever existed that maybe "Wyman-level" would have been a better choice.  And, after all, Slow Horses does feature that fine theme-song by Mick Jagger.  On the other hand, using the members of The Beatles as a measuring stick is consistent with the appealing outrageousness of Slow Horses, so ...

But let's get to the new season.  All of our favorite characters are in fine form.  Lamb is still farting his head off, and denouncing every member of the team, even though all of them are doing an excellent job. Especially River, who we're reminded doesn't really belong in Slough House, but everyone else, including Ho.  And the story is sharp.

[And here's the warning about spoilers ahead ... ]

Catherine is kidnapped, by a group apparently led by the guy we see in the prelude, about whom we're not really sure he's a bad guy after the prelude is over.  I mean, kidnapping is not a good thing, but it's still possible he and the couple he's working with kidnapped Catherine for some worthy reason?  Nah, I doubt it, that's why I put the question mark there, but there is something about them that seems not that bad, including that they gave Catherine a choice of ham or cheese or both for her lunch as a kidnapee.

The two hours flew right by, and it's great to see show back.  It's one of my favorites.  On The Beatles level?  A little too soon to tell, but it's a contender for sure.

And see also Slow Horses 2.1-2.2: Do Horses Eat Ramen? ... 2.3: Faster Than You Think ... 2.4-2.5: Lamb Firing On All Cylinders ... Slow Horses 2.6: Heralds of Humiliation

And see also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling ... Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger ... Slow Horses 1.5: Did You Hear the One About the ... Slow Horses 1.6: The Scorecard

  

Slow Horses 2.6: The Heralds of Humiliation

An outstanding finale to the short six-episode season two of Slow Horses on Apple TV+ tonight.

Here are some of my many favorite parts [of course, spoilers ahead ... ]:

• The double funeral for Min was sad, hilarious, perfect in every way.  I even learned something: this season of Slow Horses is taking place in 2016.  Was that known before?  Possibly, I may have dozed off for a second in a previous episode.
• River's grandfather getting the best of his would-be assassin.  As he told River when he was chided by River for opening the front door.
• Roddy (I decided to just stay with first names in this review) getting some real action (that is, combat of sorts) in the field.
• Louisa at both Min funerals. and also what Louisa did to that Russian killer.  (I lost count of how many of the Russian killers were bald.  Three?)
• Lamb explaining that his team can't be humiliated, because they've already been all humiliated.
• I know I've said this many times already, but it's worth repeating:  Mick Jagger's "Strange Games" sounds better than ever, every time I hear it.  The song and its performance are worthy successors to Johnny Rivers' (no relation) "Secret Agent Man".

And here's one thing I didn't like:

• Spider survived.   Ok, I know the character plays an important role, but I just don't like him.

There'll be a Season 3, and I'll be back here with reviews.  In the meantime, Happy New Year!

See also Slow Horses 2.1-2.2: Do Horses Eat Ramen? ... 2.3: Faster Than You Think ... 2.4-2.5: Lamb Firing On All Cylinders

And see also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling ... Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger ... Slow Horses 1.5: Did You Hear the One About the ... Slow Horses 1.6: The Scorecard

  

Slow Horses 2.4-2.5: Lamb Firing On All Cylinders

Sorry, I didn't get a chance to review Slow Horses 2.4 last week.  I was really busy, and I didn't have the time to write about a bunch of "misfits and boozers," to quote Mick Jagger in the title song--

No, I'm only kidding.  Last week's episode was brilliant, with first class spywork by Lamb in cracking the case of how Min was really killed, and the best episode so far as well for River, literally out in the field.  He even had me hoping he'd get lucky with that daughter on the ranch.  (I don't know, that whole place had a U. S out-West vibe, didn't it?)

This week's episode 2.5 was outstanding, too.  We get a subtle return of Lamb's flatulence in silent but deadly form -- well, not really deadly, you have to be careful using such words about this kind of series -- and ...

[Spoilers ahead ...]

Spider getting just what he deserves.  Ok, I don't mean to be so callous about it, he is one of ours, and the scene with him with the blood on the floor was pretty ugly, but I can't say I hope he somehow survives on my "if you're not shot in the head, you can make it" principle, which I think always rules in television.  But he is an outstandingly obnoxious character in a series that excels in that.  (Who's the second most obnoxious -- Roddy?  Yeah.)

One thing about Slow Horses I really don't much like is that the series moves too fast.  I mean, next week is the Season 2 finale already?  Now I do really feel a little bad that I didn't review 2.4 last week, because I know that all too soon, I won't have any episodes to review at all, until another short season, #3, comes sarcastically along.

But I'll be back here next week with my thoughts on the Season 2 finale.

See also Slow Horses 2.1-2.2: Do Horses Eat Ramen? ... 2.3: Faster Than You Think

And see also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling ... Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger ... Slow Horses 1.5: Did You Hear the One About the ... Slow Horses 1.6: The Scorecard

  

Slow Horses 2.3: Faster Than You Think

Whew, Slow Horses aren't/isn't fooling around this season -- not that they/it weren't/wasn't deadly serious along with their/its deadpan humor in the first two seasons -- but [spoilers follows ...]

Killing off a major supporting character at the beginning of the third episode is one wicked move.   Not to mention that Min was one of the more lovable characters, especially by Louisa.   But just to make sure you -- the viewer -- didn't get too upset about this loss, it was fun to see all the other characters reacting true to form to Min's death.

Especially Ho, who remarks that Min was "ok for an average guy".  We've seen sarcastic, self-absorbed computer guys before, but Ho has become the definitive portrayal of that archetype in my book.  And Lamb's response, "I hope you don't get to write my obit," was just right for him, too.

But Lamb is getting to be a much more serious character than he was last season.  He doesn't believe for an instant that Min's death on the bicycle was an accident, even though he did have a lot alcohol in him. The next to final scene of Lamb confronting the woman who claimed to be the driver was a great piece of MI-6 work, whatever the name of the unit.

Of course, the whole point of this narrative is that Slough House isn't really slow at all.  Indeed, as Spider's comments again make clear, it's the agents back at headquarters who are little behind the eight ball, at least some of them, some of the time.  But you do get the feeling, watching this series, with Mick Jagger singing at the beginning and the end (I keep mentioning that because it's so good), but you do get the feeling that these slow horses may be the best defense our free world can muster.

Even if Lamb takes off his well-worn shoes and puts his socked feet up on his desk right in front of a fan.  Hey, that's how the man does his best thinking.

See also Slow Horses 2.1-2.2: Do Horses Eat Ramen?

And see also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling ... Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger ... Slow Horses 1.5: Did You Hear the One About the ... Slow Horses 1.6: The Scorecard

  

Slow Horses 2.1-2.2: Do Horses Eat Ramen?

Slow Horses is back (I keep wanting to say "are back") on Apple TV+ with the first two episodes of its second (short) season.

The repartee is better than ever, with Cartwright chiding Lamb for eating his ramon like a "dying horse," whatever exactly that means.  He looked ok to me, and I was glad we at least didn't get another demonstration of his flatulence (sorry, was that a spoiler?),

[Anyway, there may be spoilers ahead ... ]

Sid was still gone, but we did get Shirley Dander (Aimee-Ffion Edwards), who may be Sid's replacement?  Plotwise, all four of the investigative horses -- Lamb, Cartwright, Guy, and Harper -- are in top form, better than in the first season, in fact.  They seem closer to succeeding than earlier this year, making a lot of progress on the case at hand.

That case is pretty good, too.  Phil Davis puts in a good few minutes at the beginning of the first episode as the ill-fated former spy Dickie Bets who dies of an induced heart attack on a bus. (The London ambience is gritty and effective.)  Good to see him (Phil) back on the screen.   The Russkies as either bad guys, pawns in a bigger game, or both, do a convincing job, though their role as likely villains is so well worn it's almost funny--  Wait, maybe that's the point?

Mick Jagger singing a little at the beginning and more at the end if very welcome again, and never gets out of date.  Speaking of which, however: I caught a mention of "Her Majesty" in the first episode, which dates this second season.  I would have gone in and overdubbed a "His Majesty," but, hey, what do I know, I'm an American.

See also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling ... Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger ... Slow Horses 1.5: Did You Hear the One About the ... Slow Horses 1.6: The Scorecard

  

Slow Horses 1.6: The Scorecard

An excellent season one finale to Slow Horses -- firing on all kinds of cylinders.  (It's the end of the first season, not the end of the first half of the first season -- the coming attractions say "Second Season").

[Spoilers ahead ... ]

Here's some of what I especially liked about this episode:

1. The discussion early on about Assam and Builders tea.  I love Assam (I mix two parts Assam and one part Keeman for my perfect cup of tea).  But Builders is good, too -- better than anything you can get in a bag in America, that's for sure.

2. The action with the kidnappers and Hassan and the dogs in the sky (were those guys dogs?) was top-notch.  I'm glad he survived, and I liked the ways he survived, and the way Cartwright did all the right things and was the hero.

3. I'm glad Min and Louisa will be getting together that evening.  They're good people.  They're entitled to at least a little more happiness.

4. The revelations at the end pushed everything up a notch -- Lamb killing Catherine's man, on orders from Cartwright's father David -- whew, that's strong stuff, and could be the basis of all sorts of future possibilities.  If Catherine finds out, would she kill Lamb, in revenge? And if she found out about David's role, what would that do to her relationship with River (though, actually, they at present don't have much of one).

5. Sid: no big revelations here, after all.  She's probably alive.  Was that her, in the coming attractions?  Not sure, it's been too long since we've seen her on the screen.

6. And on the flatulence scorecard: not sure, Lamb may have let one go as he walked slightly ahead of Louisa to the car.  But it could have been a creaky car door, and Louise didn't seem to have much of a reaction.  If I had to be on this, I'd say, yes, it was.  Which gives Lamb a perfect, six per six record.

Anyway, I'm down -- or up -- for the next season, and I hope to see you back here with my continuing reviews.

PS -- Great song by Mick Jagger.  Just wanted to say that again.

See also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling ... Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger ... Slow Horses 1.5: Did You Hear the One About the ...

  

Slow Horses 1.5: Did You Hear the One about the ...

A most excellent episode 1.5 of Slow Horses on Apple TV+ today.  Here's why:

[Spoilers ahead... ]

No explicit flatulence from Lamb tonight, or even a mention of it from the lead Slow Horse.  But he did manage to come through with a comment about being "bitten in the canal".  I'd give him credit for that for this episode.  He was in the right area -- wasn't talking about his ear canal, right?

And the jokes in the car near the end that Hassan was telling were very good.  I found myself laughing with the three bozos in the car.  I won't list all of them here, though.  My favorite was the note left in the underpants.   In the same area as the canal Lamb was mentioning. 

The action was good, too.  Cartwright was top-notch in the park -- that's a name for MI5 headquarters, right -- there might have also been some action in a real park, which wasn't nearly as good as inside the big building.  The Brits call the areas with grass and benches and trees "parks", don't they?  It gets confusing, because they also call what we in New York say are parking lots "car parks".

I'm still missing Sid.  But I saw or read somewhere that there'll be some big surprise about her in next week's episode.  It can't be that she died, because that wouldn't be much of a surprise.  Not to mention disappointing.  It could be that she suddenly recovers, but I'm not holding my breath for that.  So I'd say the surprise is something about who she really is.  Maybe she's Taverner's daughter?

I'll see you back here next week, and let you know I feel about the discovery about Sid.

See also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling ... Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger

  

Slow Horses 1.4: Fine New Song by Mick Jagger

Well, I was glad to see that Slow Horses continued its streak of flatulence by Lamb in episode 1.4, up yesterday on Apple TV+, with Lamb advising that some lamb dish he ate earlier would be making a "reappearance".  Ok, this was not flatulence per se, it was just an allusion to it, but it gets a boost as a mention with someone named Lamb talking about lamb.

But one thing I didn't like in this episode was the continued near absence of Sid.  As I said in an earlier review, she is one of my favorite characters, and I'd like to see her getting more action than just in a coma.

Otherwise, there wasn't all that much that was actually new in this episode.  It's clear now that the true villains are MI5, and I'm glad to see our slow horses in one way or another continuing to get the better of them.  It was good to see Catherine Standish in so many scenes with Lamb -- I think they're a good couple.  She no doubt has an interesting backstory, and it would fun to see more of that.

So that's all I have to say about episode 1.4.  But this might be a good time to say how much I like Mick Jagger's theme song, "Strange Game," written very recently for the series.  Starts off with a great rhyme -- "losers" and "boozers" -- and goes on with a lyric that shows Jagger hasn't lost his chops with words.  He also wrote the music, which is good, too.  The whole song reminds me a little of The Doors' "People Are Strange" and Johnny Rivers' "Secret Agent Man" but, hey, harkening back to the 1960s is fine with me.  In fact, I think the whole idea of asking a rock legend to write and sing a new song for a series is brilliant, and beats choosing a well-known song that everyone already knows as a theme song, which is the way most new series go these days.

Jagger writing and singing "Strange Game" is just one example of the originality of Slow Horses, which I'm glad is here.  See you next week with my next review.

See also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller ... Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling

  

Slow Horses 1.3: The Fine Art of Bumbling

Bumbling played the major role in the third episode of Slow Horses on Apple TV+ -- only appropriate, given the sarcastic subtext and headline of the new series.

[Spoilers ahead ... ]

First, Min and Louisa can't seem to find a place to make some decent love.  This in turn culminates with Moody suffering death via falling down stairs, with Min more horrified than happy that he triumphed in their tussle.

Hobden doesn't do too well, either, getting punched in the face when he comes to make his case with the nationalist politician.  In Slow Horses, the bad guys as well as most of the good guys are slow, and it's not even completely clear which side Hobden is on.

Meanwhile, Hassan bungles his attempt to escape, nearly killing himself in the process.  And all of the kidnappers, if I have this right, have names taken from the original Three Stooges (Moe, Curly, Larry).

And I've been saving the worst for last: it looks as if Lamb's flatulence is becoming a staple of every episode.  At least this time it happens outdoors.  What does this have to do with bumbling?  Well, there's a linguistic connection, isn't there, given the meaning of bum in Britspeak.

But I've said more than enough.  I'll be back here next week with my review of the next episode of Slow Horses, grateful that I'm watching this on a screen at home rather than live on stage in a small theater.

See also Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast-Moving Spy Thriller

 

Slow Horses 1.1-2: Fast Moving Spy Thriller

Hey, I caught the first two episodes of Slow Horses on Apple TV+, attracted to it by its name.  I recall Arthur Shelby cautioning his brother Thomas about "fast women and slow horses" in Peaky Blinders, and my old song-writing partner Ed Fox (he wrote the music to my Looking for Sunsets in the Early Morning) writing a song called "Fast Women and Slow Horses" in the early 1970s.

Meanwhile, Slow Horses is a fast-moving no-holds-barred British spy thriller with a fresh outlook.  River Cartwright (played by Jack Lowden) is a young gung-ho spy who is assigned to Slough House (aka the Slow Horse division) after he flubs a training exercise in a major way.  Except, that might not have been his fault.  Gary Oldman plays Jackson Lamb, who heads the division, and drinks, smokes, and suffers from flatulence.  Olivia Cooke plays Sid, who--

[Ok, time for a spoilers warning ... ]

Well, Sid in the second episode tells River that she was put in Slough House to keep an eye on him.  Shortly before she's shot in the head (I told you Slow Horses was fast moving).  She is unconscious, but I'm really hoping she was grazed not actually shot in the head, because she's an appealing character.

The case at hand is a kidnapping by white supremacists of a young man that they think just got off the boat from Pakistan, even though he was born in England.  Yes, the Brits have the same racist predators that plague us here in America, and I'm hoping River figures out a way to save this guy.

The dialogue is sharp, the London scenes suitably rainy, and I'll be along for the ride with reviews here every week.